WHY DID I GO ?

Hi !

Wait.

Wait, Let me rewind back into the reel of this cassette!

What cassette?

The flashback, the reminiscence.

They say, its "kismet" that pens down all happenstance.& so many amazing things happened to me!

Good amazing & bad amazing!

The good amazing? 

I entered a new chapter of life, I found a partner!

The bad amazing?

You know how a magnet gets detached & gets attached to the other piece of attraction?

I parted similarly with my folks! I feel the pinch at times. Its ugly you know! It hurts & I cant explain how bad. Its been a year now that i've hugged them !!!

x

So, going down to the memory lane..

I lost touch with "thoughtsonmyplate" because, there was a need to attend some priorities over my personal preferences.

Fast Rewind <<< Joined airlines<Quit airlines<got engaged<got married<left country<moved into a new world<new life<ups<downs<goods<bad<love<hate<new job<left job<new job again<settling in still …




I left behind my old dresses, frills & socks, old books, the world of balloons & hopscotch !

I am in a world now of new adventures!

Everyday.

One day I experience a roller-coaster adrenaline rush down my spine, blasting with happy emotions.

Another day I feel glitches in my system! Tangled confusions. Waves of doleful feelings!




Maybe its just a hankering phase.


Yes.

And one has to keep going on neglecting the stupid, ugly knots sizzling in the brain.

And embrace the various seasons life has to offer. 

Count each blessing & wonder why they were bestowed on?

Live every minute for its gone, once its gone!

The other day I was wondering..

I mostly forget that I'm not immortal! I just have one beautiful canvas to paint till I am !

I dont want to sit & whine when I'm sixty five & regret not doing what I could.

I want to feel the joy-kicks.

Make a book of a thousand fantastic chapters … each displaying fulfilment  of my vague, off-beat intentions & ambitions !!!

Put in Black and Blue !

Till my fingers hurt with all competence , I'll write.

Till the lead starts its turtle death , I'll write.

I'll write till the liquid bleeds from the nib.

And till the nib separates from its feed , and the feed from the sac.

I'll write.

Before the luminosity is casted.

And much after the shadow unfurls.

I'll write , Just whatever .. but something forever ....

Much , very much till the grease from the eyes is shrivelled!

Till the nails lose all the glint

Till my brows become lacklustre and pointless.

And the lashes are no more curly ,

And the lips look no more rosier , but feel baked.

And the skin turns soulless!

H!m & the Cake !

Rays , so shiny fell over her black lashes as she walked !
The grey vase with yellow flowers shone.It was breezing cold and warm like the summers touching the virgin lands.The Bougainvillea looked crisp and frail in the giant sand pots! Each time the dawn sleeps , the skies get navy! Navy like the ink! Navy with the diamonds spilt over !

That quiet night she thought of ringing him.Dialled his digits.Cancelled the call.
He must be in the most peaceful state! The most handsome time of his night! He maybe fadedly smiling in his sleep.Worth a zillion.
A secret stock of images in her telephone .. She scrolled up and above all the photographs of his ! Black white sepia and colour pictures where he holds her with contentment.
Her name and his laughter echoed.
Unable to walk towards the kitchen , it was 3:00 am,because she was nervous .

She could recall how he followed her to there with a brown cake and told her to eat a share ..
And how the cake tasted  better and smoother  , and how she had chills down her spine cause he looked stupendous even in his rugged old red shirt! His ordinary hair were ordinarily in place.
She gulped down three sips and walked back.
Staring at the ceiling she can't wait for the dawn to hit again! No end to their texting and expressions via alphabets !

Fancy for the PAN & PLATE !

& I enter the most Heavenly lands of my Cottage - my Kit-chen :)
Yes , every morning .. I feel tremendously Godly.

I see the Cups making a conversation with the spoons ; of how the Sugar Crystals were so fine & just effortlessly manage to mingle with the Lemonade !
I see the Stirrers chatting among the cute glasses .. making gossips that they are Superior & Sleek , & that , they carry more elegance !

I visualize the Porridge jumping up and frizzling towards the milk jar.....

 ... .... The Mild Citric Perfumes of the Juices ....
The strength of the aroma - of the Latte' Beans !

Golden Dust of the Crust of the Toasties :)
& the Butter Polish Sizzling over the same !

I yawn & take a step -
The Sun rays falling on my eyes & i struggle to take a look at the Gorgeous Honey Jars .....
& Glancing over Hot Chocolate Tins !

Then the Beautiful Orange liquid whispers to me " hey li'l one ... "
& I smile wide ..
And then , a fistful of Roasted crunchy nuts !
A bit of grapes !....................

That Huge Bay window -
with the sunshine pouring in ..
is Serene !

Its the most pretty & warm space , here , I can sit and write Blogs like these ..

I can get Nostalgic & eat Vanilla Cookies ..

I can weep with the Onions & feel the coriander dancing ; spreading its soft breath !!

 ---Wonderfully exotic with all kinds of amazing Spices & Savories - Crisps & Crusts , 
Cheese & Chocolates
..........
I fall in Love everyday here ..
Every single time I get here, I Smile & can't get enough :)

WHIMSICAL AND STRAY

How bold have you been in displaying your Capricious thoughts today ?
Have you been able to sort out your fickle mindedness ?

Anxiety has been gifted to you & i !
It came packed with zillions of Convictions , simultaneously tied with a firm opinion .. 
It is Ribboned with Enthusiasm .. doubts !

Frilled with droplets of your self esteem ... 

Premised on your Brainstorming !
Packed with everything crazy but dreamy ``

You still have a diverging road with withered yellow leaves 

With withered yellow leaves and precious green dew filled stems !

You wanton and make frolic 
You spend the dizzy hours putting yourself in fractions and segments !
But !
Have you yet delivered a good emotion ? Have you received it ?

Never cease to respect your deepest plans ` They seem purposeless ? ?
They'll be taken care of  !
Tomorrow when the sun shines or the breeze smiles across your face ...
Embrace your Dawn - and years to come - it will Embrace you back !!!

Cold Core - Frozentine

#Love#

Majorly Overrated , Just like any other Celeb, Yes that !
Poorly Scripted ... like a Super Non Existing Movie !

Its Fainted , Its Blurred like a sad picture taken from a Dirty Mentality Camera Lense !

Its got the Golden Lush in the Rush of the Expression!
Then the Bling starts Twinkling & Shimmering !

In that Shimmer , the Respect goes Unseen & Ugly !
The Shimmer Fades ...
The Ugly Memories Linger... 

How it initiated,How it paused !

Frozen ! Numb ! Sense-less !
Just a Phase what I call !

#PrettyPains 

And all the Defective*Impassioned# Emotions ...

Expression is so chief .Isn't it ?
So Decisive.

If I dont display emotion , if I dont display that rightly , I have so much to lose.
I might get disturbed , I might feel dejected.
But one valuable feeling I always win is "Strong Comfort".'Cause I've said it ! Maybe wrong & all reverse !
But I know I've let my Compactness out !




 

So , when my ?'s are not responded to ...
Yes ! at times its like "I didnt deserve this ... was this meant to be ? "
& then ?

Then .. I collect all my belief,my calm .... & some piece of my sensitive peace !
Sooner or later,My good will reflect back on the mirror of my strength !
I have realised Adoration for myself.

I have realised I'am internally motivated & I so inspire some beautiful souls around me ...
<3 Those Gorgeous beings light up so much win <3